Better Relationships #11 - Love is not Rude

“Love is not rude”

In this series of blogs we’ve been looking at 1^st Corinthians 13. This chapter about love is a chapter not just on relationships, but on how we behave and treat one another within the church. The overarching message is that we treat one another in love, and then the chapter explains what that means in practical living. Love is some things (patient, kind, etc.), and love does not do some things (jealous, proud, etc.).

In 1^st Corinthians 13:5, it says that love is not rude. This Greek phrase could be translated as “does not act unbecomingly” or “does not act inappropriately.” In the New American Standard Bible this is translated, “it does not act disgracefully.” Yet here we are living in a culture that is getting more and more rude. There is a coarsening of society.

Social media amplified this problem. People could comment on other people and events all from the comfort and safety of their living room couch. Things they probably would never say to a person if they were standing in front of them, are said online when the inhibitions and consequences are much lower. This social media world we live in has been like this for over 15 years and it has changed our society. I just read a book called Stolen Focus and the author contends that the social media companies don’t really care too much about what you think or read, they just want you to stay on the screen to see more of their ads they are selling. And, because of our fallen nature, what keeps us on the screen is bad news and things that make you upset. What happens is someone does something that is perceived as rude, and then the comments are rude to that person and it escalates.

The Bible is constantly calling us to be counter-cultural. When people treat me rudely, I struggle inside. I think that I was just treated with a whole lot less respect than I think I deserve, therefore I should be justified in treating this person poorly. This is the struggle we all face, yet how did Jesus respond? The prophet Isaiah had a picture of the Messiah in Isaiah 53 and it says, “He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.” In my Bible reading plan I just read through one of the crucifixion accounts. Jesus did not defend himself. That’s where I struggle because it’s hard for me to simply keep my mouth shut. When Jesus did speak what did he say, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

We live in a culture that is getting more and more rude and vulgar and impolite. Sadly, that is creeping into the churches simply because this is the world we live in. However, if we want to have healthy churches and healthy relationships, we need to show love. That means we are not rude. When people in the church are rude to one another or rude to people outside the church, this means the church is not a place where the love of Jesus is present and evident. Lord forgive us for those times when our churches, and our lives were less than loving toward others. Help us to follow the more excellent way.

Better Relationships #10 - The Pride Problem

In this blog series on better relationships, we have taken a close look at 1^st Corinthians 13. This is part of a larger section on how a church is to work and it is to be a place where people love one another. This chapter has some examples of what love is, such as being patient and kind. There are also examples of what love is not. It is not jealous or proud.

Love and pride are incompatible, yet pride is part of the sinful nature that comes with every human being since Adam and Eve. How do we truly love one another in our family, and in our church? How do we overcome this tendency toward pride?

 

1. TAKE TIME TO LISTEN

We need to take time to listen to others because overcoming pride is done through getting advice. Proud people think they know everything.  People who are able to have good relationships with others, seek advice from others, and are open to listening to others. 

Proverbs 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Getting advice does slow you down. All too often we are in a hurry, we think there is an urgency, therefore we need to make the decision and do it right now. I was listening to a podcast with Jocko Willink who was a Navy SEAL, and they have a saying. “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.” Our pride inflates our self-worth and thinks that we will make the best decision and do it in a hurry. To overcome pride we need to take time to listen.

God speaks to us through gifted teachers, through circumstances that are sometimes painful, through listening to Him in prayer, and through the Bible. Take the time to listen, not just to wise people in your life, but more importantly listen to God.

 

2. ALLOW OTHERS TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE

The Pacific Conference is a connectional system. There are a lot of positive things about this connectional system and one is that there is accountability. Accountability isn’t always fun, but it is important. Pride keeps us from accountability. Pride makes us lonely because it pushes us to go it alone and not be accountable to anyone.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”

 

3. GIVE YOUR LIFE IN SERVICE

Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Jesus hung out with rich and poor alike.  In Luke 14 Jesus was at a banquet at a rich man’s house.  The food is coming out and everyone is worried about getting the most honored place to sit at the banquet.  Jesus has to straighten out people who are busy tripping over their own pride and posturing, telling them to look to the needs of others. Service, humility, and holiness are demonstrated when you serve people who cannot do anything for you. To be like Christ, to let go of our pride and have better relationships we are to give our lives in service of others.

  

Better Relationships #9 - Love is Not Proud

 Love is not Proud 

This blog series in 1^st Corinthians 13 shows us how to love one another in the church. The previous post was how love does not boast and this one is how love is not proud. The words boast and proud essentially refer to the same problem of pride. Boasting is the outward manifestation of pride on the inside. Boasting is what a proud person does. Boast is a word that means “to brag.” Bragging is when we try to promote ourselves or build ourselves up. It is the idea of parading our abilities, accomplishments, or acquaintances. The Greek word that is translated proud literally means to be “puffed up.” It is the idea of something being bigger or more than it really is. It’s sort of the idea of inflation or the rising prices of groceries, housing, and everything else being puffed up. If you want a healthy church, healthy marriage, healthy family, you need love and you cannot have pride.

Pride keeps us from communicating. Many of our problems are communication problems. We misunderstand and misinterpret what others say to us. Human beings by and large are not good at mind-reading. It gets worse when we infuse this with pride. We assume what other people are saying and out of our pride, we assume that we are always right and others are always wrong.

Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Proverbs 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Pride keeps us from listening to others in our lives who try to help us. The Pacific Conference of The Evangelical Church is a group of churches in a connectional relationship. There are reasons for this, and one of those reasons is accountability. Pride keeps us from admitting that we aren’t always right. There are times when we need others to hold us accountable. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” Pride keeps us from listening to others in our lives who are trying to encourage us and build us up because we would need to admit that we have some blind spots.

Pride pushes us toward being critical of others. It says in Proverbs 21:24 “Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance.” Pride reveals itself with a superior attitude that is constantly evaluating, correcting, and judging others. Pride criticizes and tears down others who many times have greater abilities, successes, or positions of authority. Pride causes us to try to make ourselves look better by putting others down.

A great example of pride is in the parable Jesus told about a Pharisee and the corrupt tax collector who both went to the temple to pray. Luke 18:11-12 “The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: `God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’” Pride hurts relationships because it causes us to be like the Pharisee and have an inflated opinion of ourselves but a low opinion of others, causing us to be arrogant and critical of others.

Once upon a time there was a guy who came to his pastor and said, “Pastor, I only have one talent.” The pastor asked, “What’s your talent? The man said, "I have the gift of criticism." The pastor said, "The Bible says that the guy who had only one talent went out and buried it. Maybe that’s what you ought to do with yours."

 

Better Relationships #8 - Love does not boast

“Love does not boast.”

Our now retired Conference Superintendent came up with the slogan for the Pacific Conference that we are building healthy local churches. That is a great slogan since that summarizes the goal of what we’re doing, however getting there is not always easy. The New Testament book of 1^st Corinthians is a letter to a church that has some problems and is working at being a healthy local church. The Apostle Paul gives them instructions on several aspects of church life and in the middle of that we have chapter thirteen where he talks about the love we are to have for one another within the church. If we are to have a healthy local church, and healthy relationships, we need to have love for one another.

After an introduction, Paul says that love is patient and kind. Then he goes into eight things that love is not. The last two posts covered how love does not envy, or in other translations is not jealous. The next quality is that love does not boast. According to the Bible, love and boasting are incompatible.

This world’s attention is caught by those who boast. Whether it is the Instagram model, the professional athlete, or the social media influencer. Because of technology it is easier and more attractive now more than ever for a person to attain celebrity status. The other side of this is what some call a “humble brag.” This is when politicians show off how they work at a homeless shelter serving the Thanksgiving meal, yet it was simply a 20 minute photo op and they care mostly how they look rather than caring about helping others. It is simply human nature and is easy for any of us to fall into this same attitude.

So, what do we boast about? People boast about their kids and grandkids. We boast about the groups we’re part of, whether it is a college football fanbase, a company you work for, or even your church. In the book of 2^nd Corinthians the Apostle Paul said that the Scriptures tell us not to boast. He was referring back to the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah who lived almost 600 years before Paul. Jeremiah had a series of messages to a people who thought they had the favor of God, yet were not living their lives following God.

This is what the Lord says:
“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom,
    or the powerful boast in their power,
    or the rich boast in their riches.
But those who wish to boast
    should boast in this alone:
that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord
    who demonstrates unfailing love
    and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth,
and that I delight in these things.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!

 Jeremiah 9:23-24

If we are to have healthy churches, families, and relationships, we love others and we are not boasting about anything we have done. We can’t earn our way into heaven. The only thing we have to boast about is that we know the Lord who loves us with an unfailing love. The God who brings righteousness and justice to an unrighteous and unjust world, and I am grateful for his unmerited love. 

Better Relationships #7 - Solving the Envy Problem

Solving our Envy Problem

1 Corinthians 13:4 “… Love does not envy…”

First Corinthians chapter thirteen is the section of the Bible that is all about love. It has been stated a few times during this blog series that even though this chapter gets read at weddings quite often, it is not talking about the love of a married couple. This chapter is in the middle of a longer discussion regarding the church and how we treat one another in the church. It is vital that we treat one another with love, and this chapter details what that means.

Today we’re looking again at how “love does not envy.” In some translations, it says that love is not jealous. Either way, envy and jealousy are incompatible with love. You cannot love someone when you are jealous of them. Envy doesn’t rejoice in another’s blessings, envy makes us mean. As a result, it moves people away from us. It says in Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” Nobody wants to be around someone who is mean and jealous. In the end we’re just hurting ourselves because we end up miserable. You can’t be happy and envious at the same time. Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

Since envy and jealousy are so toxic to our relationships in our families and in our church, what is the solution? What is the prescription for this affliction?

The first thing we need to do with envy and jealousy is to:

1. RENOUNCE THEM AS SINFUL.

When Jesus was arrested, with the help of Judas. The religious leaders got the crowd all riled up against Jesus. The Roman governor didn’t know what to do: Matthew 27:18 “For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.” Sin is nothing to be toyed with or tolerated. Right is right and wrong must be done away with. I love the book review that Dorothy Parker wrote for a book years ago. She said, “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.”

2. REMOVE ENVY AND JEALOUSY FROM OUR HEARTS

Don’t just acknowledge that it’s there. It needs to be removed. When we recognize envy and jealousy in our lives, and acknowledge that it is sin.  Then we need to do something else.  We need to remove it from our hearts. How do we do that? By replacing them with contentment. When we are content, it is impossible to envy. Paul described his ability to get over envy and jealousy in Philippians 4:11 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Being content doesn’t come naturally; with God’s help, it is learned.

3. REKINDLE AGAPE LOVE IN OUR HEARTS

The opposite of envy and jealousy is love. Love is glad for the abilities and successes of others, even if they work against our own. Love is happy when others are successful. But how do we rekindle agape love? We do it by spending time in God’s word, we do it by spending time in prayer, in a relationship with God, and becoming more like Him.

 

Better Relationships #6 - Love does not Envy

1 Corinthians 13:4 “… Love does not envy…”

Over the past several weeks we have looked at the foundation for better relationships which is Love. You need love to have healthy family relationships, and you need love to have a healthy church.

In this chapter there are some positive characteristics of love being patient and kind. Now we begin to describe 8 negative characteristics of what love does NOT do. The first is that love does not envy. There are some translations that say that love is not jealous. That’s OK too. The word here in Greek can be translated as either envy or jealous. While it is the same word in Greek, they are two different things in English. Envy wants what someone else has, while jealousy is afraid that what one has will be taken by someone else, like a jealous wife or jealous husband.

You do not need to teach anyone to be envious or jealous. This comes as standard equipment with our sinful human nature. Some of the first words that children learn and know what they mean are “No” and “Mine.” I’ve been saying for years, people grow older, but they don’t grow up.

There is a little poem called the Toddler’s Creed

If I want it, IT'S MINE!
If I give it to you and change my mind later, IT'S MINE!
If I can take it away from you, IT'S MINE!
If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else, No matter what.
If we are building something together, All the pieces are mine!
If it looks just like mine, IT'S MINE!

For some reason we get this notion of “innocent children,” yet we know that most all of us when we were toddlers, we lived by this Toddler’s Creed. But love is not jealous, and love does not envy. Jealousy and envy change people. It doesn’t start off that way. Envy starts off so innocent. It starts off with just a simple wanting of something else. Wanting better clothes, better toys, better phone, better car, better job, better house, better bank account than what you have. This is so innocent and actually helps motivate people to live productive responsible lives.

But then envy takes a turn. Not only does it want more than what you have, it wants what someone else has. If only I had what they’ve got. When you realize that you can’t take a short-cut and get all those things that you think you want, you get cranky. You get mad at those who stand in your way of getting those things you think you need and deserve. James 3:15 it says: “For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.” This attitude is not just toxic to a relationship or a church, the Bible says that it is actually demonic. Love does not envy.

Better Relationships #5 - Love is kind

This summer there have probably been hundreds of weddings where someone has read 1^st Corinthians chapter 13. It sounds great at a wedding, however, the context is not a marriage, but how we treat one another within the church. All too often we relegate this chapter to the relationship of a husband and a wife when in reality, this passage about love is directed to the church. There are a lot of descriptive qualities of love in this chapter. It says in: 1 Corinthians 13:4 “…love is kind…”

In the Old Testament in 2^nd Samuel 9, David is king, and one day he had a question. He said, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” In those days kings would normally execute anyone who is a threat to their power and position. Saul had been the king, and his son Jonathan was next in line to be king. David wanted to show kindness to someone who probably had a stronger claim on the throne than he did. This was not the best political move for a king during the bronze age. But David’s love for Jonathan was so great that he could demonstrate that love by showing kindness to Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth.

David  knew that God loved him, and he wanted to show God’s love to others. As it turns out Mephibosheth really did need the kindness of the king. He was the grandson of King Saul, but when he was a young boy the nanny dropped him and he had been crippled ever since. He was essentially hiding in a desolate place. Then comes the word that the new king, the guy his grandfather hated, King David wanted to see him. David showed him kindness, not because he deserved it, but because he needed kindness.

In 1^st Corinthians when it says “love is kind,” one of the meanings for this Greek word is “good-hearted.” If we want to have better relationships in our family, and in our church, we need to be kind. Are we truly “good-hearted” toward one another? Like David, are we kind to people that we wouldn’t normally be kind to and who can do nothing for us in return?

Two weeks before I went away to college, my parents moved to Florence, Oregon where my dad was the pastor at the Florence Evangelical Church. That meant I had a two day drive to go to college rather than one long day. So, on my trips back and forth during my college years many times I stayed with Norm and Jean Whitford. They were my uncle’s in-laws, so these are not exactly close relatives. Yet they were the very definition of good-hearted kindness. They really didn’t have much, but they were always so kind and generous. They loved having me stay with them. They would provide bed and breakfast, as well as a sack lunch for the road. Not only that, but their kindness went up another level when I would bring people with me, giving them a ride to or from college. They were happy when I was there, and even more happy the more people I brought.

Do we show this kind of kindness to one another? If we want to have better relationships we need to work on our kindness. Is our church a place where people are experiencing kindness? It is not a suggestion, it is a command of Jesus to love one another, and “love is kind.”

 

Better Relationships #4 - Love is Patient

In the 1800’s there lived a man named Robert Ingersoll. He grew up the son of a pastor, but walked away from the faith. Ingersoll became a lawyer and was involved in politics. However, he is most known for his books and series of lectures on the non-existence of God. Several times during his lectures he would say, “I’ll give God five minutes to strike me dead for the things I’ve said.” Then, he would use the fact that he was not struck dead as proof God did not exist. There was a pastor named Theodore Parker at that time. He was told of what Mr. Ingersoll was doing. His response was, “Did the gentleman think he could exhaust the patience of the eternal God in five minutes?”

Lately in this blog we’ve been looking at 1 Corinthians 13. This is a chapter on love, but it is in the context of how we behave with each other in the church. In verses 4-8 of this chapter there are 15 characteristics of what it means to love. Today we look at how “love is patient.”

How patient are you? I have a more task oriented personality and patience does not come easily to me. I’m constantly sitting in traffic or picking the wrong checkout lane in the grocery store and I'm wondering if the Lord is working on putting me in opportunities to learn patience.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4 when it says, “love is patient,” the Greek word is (makrothumeo). It is sometimes translated “long-suffering.” The literal meaning is “taking a long time to boil.” We may know people who have a “short fuse,” which means they get angry easily or quickly. Patience means we have a “long fuse.” It is victory over anger. This word always means to have patience with people, not things or situations. There is a Greek word that means patience toward things or circumstances, and it is translated as “perseveres” in v.7. Patience requires divine help to develop because our natural tendency is to be impatient with people.

So, if part of showing love in our relationships is patience, then how do we be patient with other people? That is a complicated topic, but the primary way is to simply remember how patient God has been with us. We have to make the conscious effort to remember God’s patience. Paul talked about this with Timothy saying, 1 Timothy 1:15-16 “…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners…”

Patience suffers long. All of these characteristics we see here in 1 Corinthians 13 are attributes of Jesus. God never commands us to do anything that isn’t seen in the life of Jesus. When you are a Christian, you have Jesus in your heart and God’s spirit working in your life, so you can do this. I can’t have love without patience, and in order to be patient, I need to remember how patient God has been with us. God can change us from the inside out. If you need love in your relationships, if you need more patience in your life, you need more of Jesus in your life.

Better Relationships #3

In this new role of superintendent I’m on the road a lot more than I was as a local church pastor. As a result, I’ve changed the oil for my car quite a bit more often lately. You need to change the oil because when your engine is really working hard, there is friction and the oil eases that friction. If there is no oil, the friction creates incredible heat, and your engine will be damaged and eventually no longer work. In the church, love is the oil that keeps things lubricated and running even when there is friction; and there will be friction from time to time. 

We’re looking at what the Bible says about how we are to love each other in the church from the key passage on how we treat one another in the church.

1 Corinthians 13:2-3 “If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

#1 When I love others, what I believe will have meaning.

If we do not love, our faith means nothing to God or anyone. Being a Christian is much more than just believing the right theology. I am an advocate for correct doctrine, however, it is not what you believe about the Jesus, but what difference has Jesus made in your life? What difference has Jesus made in how you behave at home or in school or in the church? The Bible says in Hebrews 11 that without faith it is impossible to please God, but that needs to be a faith that also has love. Paul wrote in Galatians 5:6 “What is important is faith expressing itself in love.”

The prophet Jonah had great faith. It was because of his faith in the power of God’s Word that he resisted going to Nineveh to preach.  He had faith to know that if he preached, and if they repented, that God would forgive them. Jonah hated the people of Nineveh. They were the enemy of Israel.  Because of his lack of love, he did not want the sinful Ninevites to be saved from a horrible judgment. After the whale experience, Jonah went to Nineveh and preached, bringing great revival there. BUT, Jonah’s faith meant nothing because the only faith that pleases God is one that expresses itself through love.

#2 When I love others, what I do will have value.

Paul is talking about agape love, self-sacrificing love. But, self-sacrifice doesn’t necessarily come from love. In 1 Corinthians 13:3 the apostle Paul talks about sacrificing and providing for others. Way too often in this world parents have given their children gifts rather than spending time with their children. They sacrifice their time and provide things, when the child really needs their parent.

God is love, and as his followers and as his children, we are called to love one another. This gets difficult because of the friction we have when we are close with people, this is why we need to check the oil and make sure that we really are loving one another. Jesus said it like this, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” (John 13:34). If we want to have better relationships we need to have love for others which is more important than our theological framework and it is more important than any gift or good deed. Will we really love one another?

Better Relationships #2

We are made for relationships, yet those relationships are not easy. What does the Bible say about having better relationships? 1 Corinthians 13 is not just a passage that you read at a wedding, the context of this passage is how we treat one another within the church. The church is to be different than the rest of the world by the way we love one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

#1 If I have love in my heart, what I say will be more than noise.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” In some translations, there is the phrase “the tongues of men and of angels.” This is a poetic way of simply saying language, while at the same time also being articulate. I’ve been a pastor for a long time, but I am nowhere close to the best preachers out there. I wish I was a lot better of a preacher. There are some pastors that preach and I am amazed at how they can turn a phrase and put together thoughts and I wish I could do that. If I was a fantastic public speaker, speaking with the tongues of men and angels, the greatest possible eloquence, oratory, and articulation of speech in languages of heaven and earth, yet no language in heaven or earth has real meaning without love.

Have you ever noticed that you can get an album with just piano music, or just guitar, or one of the several different kinds of horns? However, I have yet to find an album of just cymbals. The cymbals blend into the background, but the repeated clashing all by itself just makes meaningless irritating sounds. The Bible tells us that if I do not have love in my heart, my words will just be about as welcome as clanging cymbals.

#2 If I have love, what I know will be of worth.

“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge…, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.” My great-grandpa Cleveland was an amazing guy. He was a school teacher, but also spent some time as a pastor in the Pacific Conference in the 1940’s & 1950’s. I remember one time when I was probably around junior high age and great-grandpa Cleveland said to me, “hey Brian, what do you know?” And, as a typical adolescent I said, “not much” or something along those lines. Then grandpa told me, “Don’t ever say that. You’re a smart kid. When someone asks you ‘What do you know?’ you tell them, ‘I know everything, what do you want me to tell you?’”

I obviously do not know everything. However, you can be the person who knows almost everything. You could be Albert Einstein, Elon Musk, Dr. Phil, and King Solomon all rolled into one, but without love in your relationships, all you know is worthless. It says in 1 Corinthians 8:1b “while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church.” If we want to have a strong conference of churches, if you want a strong local church, if you want a strong marriage, or a strong family, we need to have love for one another.

BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

A few years ago during the worst part of the pandemic, we were staying home and isolating like we were supposed to, and that took a huge toll on so many people. In prison, solitary confinement is a punishment because it is painful. Human beings are not meant to be alone. God said this in the second chapter of the Bible.

We were made for relationships. Primarily we were made to be in relationship with God, and we were designed to be in relationship with other people. The problem is that we also struggle with relationships. The world offers lots of ways to get better relationships, and many of those ways work to some degree. However, as a Christian, and as a pastor, I want to know what the Bible says about relationships.

One of the greatest passages on relationships is 1^st Corinthians 13. This passage is read at many weddings. Way too many people find some sort of framed artwork with this chapter and give it to couples as a wedding gift. This is not a bad thing, however, this chapter in the Bible was not written to be about the love of a husband and a wife. In the context of the book of 1 Corinthians this is about how we treat each other within the church. Chapter 12 talks about the different gifts of each person in the church and how they work together. Chapter 12 ends with the various ministries of apostles, prophets, and teachers. Then chapter 13 tells us we need to love one another as we work together as a church.

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

The Bible tells us that our words, our knowledge, our understanding, and even our faith do not mean anything if we do not love one another. In my relatively new role as a superintendent, I am learning on-the-job. I do not claim to know everything about this role, but what I do know is that we are a conference of churches, and we are in a connectional system of pastors and churches working together. This means that we do ministry in relationship with each other. For the next several weeks this blog will focus on God's way to have better relationships. Without relationships we are not able to effectively do God’s will. This is true in a conference of churches, in a local church, and in a family. So, in our speech, will we speak in love to one another?

REVIVAL

It is amazing about the revival that is taking place right now. At Asbury University they had a routine Wednesday morning chapel service that has not ended. People who are there talk about the powerful presence of the Lord and how people keep coming, it is difficult to leave. Friends of mine was there Monday and they said the auditorium is full and so there is overflow in other areas around campus. It isn't just students anymore, there are people from all over wanting more of God and looking for hope. 

Things like this have happened before at this University, but because of social media, this has taken on a life of its own. On Saturday I watched a livestream for over two hours just enjoying by distance the spirit and presence of the Lord. They just keep going with worship, with some preaching, some testimonies, some reading of Scripture. 

This school in Wilmore, Kentucky was started by John Wesley Hughes and was originally named Kentucky Holiness College and later renamed Asbury College in honor of the great Methodist Bishop Asbury. In Hughes Auditorium where this revival is taking place, it says on the wall right up front "Holiness Unto the Lord." 

Just like Asbury University, here in the Pacific Conference we are a holiness people. What does that mean? It means that we believe the Scriptures where God commands us to be holy as He is holy. It is not a legalistic perfection, but it is cleansing and setting apart by God. We are not trying to manage a minimum amount of sin in our lives, we are seeking after God so that we can have victory over sin. 

I'd like to get on an airplane and head to Kentucky, but more importantly, I desire revival here in the Pacific Northwest. This revival started when students started confessing and repenting. Revival always starts with the church, let it start with us. In Acts chapter 3 Peter & John were at the Temple. There was a miracle and then a crowd shows up and Peter starts preaching. Peter tells us how to find revival in Acts 3:19-20 "Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah."

Lord may that be so here in the Pacific Northwest. May we truly repent of our sins; not trying to keep them to a minimum, but truly repent. Then as we turn to God our sins will be wiped away and the times of refreshment and revival so that we can proclaim the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ here in the Pacific Northwest. 

JOY AHEAD

This may sound like something you get in a fortune cookie, but there is joy ahead for you. Do you really believe that? It's so easy for us to look at the world, look at our schedule, look at our circumstances, and forget that there is joy ahead. It says in:

1 Peter 1:6-7 “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine..."

The most famous of all the old hymns, Amazing Grace, has the verse that starts, “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come.” Some of our problems are from the enemy, some are just how life goes this side of heaven, and some are there just to test our faith. It isn't really faith unless it's put to the test. 

There is joy ahead, even when this life isn't easy. We get into trouble when we think that being a Christian means that nothing bad will ever happen to us. That’s not true. We know it’s not true. And, we’re being dishonest when we tell people they should be a Christian so that they won’t have any problems anymore. Jesus never said anything like that. He told us there would be problems, but that we were to be happy.

Matthew 5:11-12 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad!"

Why are we happy? Because we have hope of heaven. I love my acronyms, and I found one a few years ago for hope. HOPE stands for Hold On, Pain Ends. In these Roaring 20's we have already had all kinds of trials, but then again, life has all kinds of trials. I am glad, even when there are trials because there is wonderful joy ahead. 

INHERITANCE

Have you ever gotten an inheritance? Last fall at Annual Conference I talked about how when my grandpa Hotrum passed away I got an inheritance and became a multi-hundredaire. How much more amazing is the inheritance we receive from the Lord? The Bible says that it is a "priceless inheritance." 

Peter, the friend of Jesus, is seen all through the gospels and in the book of Acts. Yet, his two epistles are tucked away toward the end of the New Testament. Peter was as close to Jesus when he was here on earth as you can get. Peter wrote:

1 Peter 1:3-4 "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance..."

When Peter says that God raised Jesus from the dead we know it's true. Peter was an eyewitness to the empty tomb and the risen Lord. Jesus is more than a nice idea and a good teacher, but he is the risen Lord. As a result we have a great expectation. This is called hope. We have hope in this life and hope for the life to come. Peter also says we have a priceless inheritance. Jesus fed thousands of people, he performed miracles, but he didn't leave Peter and the early church with a multimillion-shekel endowment. Jesus told Peter that he would be with them, and that was good enough. Peter was full of hope, focusing on the priceless inheritance we receive from Jesus. We get forgiveness of sin, peace in the midst of trouble, guidance from the Holy Spirit. All this and Heaven too. 

On my desk I have a pocket watch that doesn't work. My uncle Ken gave it to me a couple years ago. He said his grandpa (my great-grandpa) had given it to him over 40 years ago and Ken said that maybe I should hang on to it for a while. My great-grandpa Cleveland did not leave an inheritance of money to the family, but he did leave an inheritance of moral and godly character. He is the one who helped my dad through college and seminary. He is the one who we knew was praying for us. Are we passing on to the next generations part of the inheritance that we have received from the Lord? 

Church on Fire

Last week I watched online the livestream of a fire in downtown Portland. The building was a church that had been empty for several years. Before that it was a Korean church. Before that it was Portland First Evangelical Church. This once grand structure had been sitting empty and ignored for the past several years. That is until January 3rd when it was set on fire. 

I know and enjoy the history of the Pacific Conference, so I was sad to see the building burn. Especially since this was my family's church when I was a child. My dad was the youth pastor there while he was in college and seminary. However, it was even more sad to me that a place that once was the home of dynamic preaching and ministry had become an abandoned building that no longer was the site of a move of God, but a place of emptiness. People didn't care about this building until it caught on fire. There were plenty of firetrucks, firefighters, and camera crews. It made national news as people came just to watch the church on fire. 

There is a quote that is attributed to John Wesley. “Light yourself on fire with passion and people will come from miles to watch you burn.” So the question for us is, are we a people of passion? Do we have a passion for focusing on Jesus? Do we have a passion for following God's Word? Do we have a fiery passion for fulfilling the Great Commission? In Matthew 3:11 John the Baptist spoke of Jesus saying that he would baptize people in the Holy Spirit and in fire. Nobody cares about a church that is empty and does not have the fire of the Holy Spirit. Churches led by pastors who are on fire for the Lord and have believers on fire with a passion for following Jesus are an irresistible attraction. Just as people came to watch a church on fire in downtown Portland, they will come to watch a church that is on fire for the Lord. Do we have that passion? If not, are you asking God to renew your passion? 

Superintendent Brian

REPORTS

 

Last week between Christmas and New Years there were a lot of programs where they took the week off and basically showed the highlights from the previous year. The past few years I would put together a little video with a bunch of pictures of what we had done the previous year. Pretty soon the conference office will be "encouraging" pastors to fill out some reports that we need here at the office. I know those end of the year reports aren't the most fun a person can have, but they are significant. The end of the year report for churches we ask a few questions. They are good to stop and take stock of the state of the church for the past year as we look forward to a new year. 

In the Bible, in the book of Joshua, there is the story of the crossing of the Jordan River. Joshua and the Israelites left Egypt, wandered in the wilderness, and are now entering the Promised Land. Just as God performed a miracle and the previous generation walked through the Red Sea on dry ground, God performed a miracle and this generation walked across the Jordan River on dry ground. During this process, the Lord instructed Joshua to have guys get some rocks from the river and set them up on the bank. Joshua 4:7 "...These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever." For years after this event people would take their grandchildren to look at these stones and tell the next generation about the miracle God had done for them. 

So, as we begin a new year and we're doing the end of the year reports, filling out the paperwork, and doing our taxes, think about the miracles God did for us this past year. Maybe we don't have a pile of rocks to look at, but we can look back at this past year. There were blessings that came from the Lord. There were difficulties where the Lord was with us in the midst of our struggles. As we look back on the year and the changes in life, we recognize God's presence and God's provision, and just know that it is not all about us, but it is also to be a testimony to those who are not yet Christians. Joshua said at the end of chapter 4, "He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever." 

The Lord's hand is powerful. May we fear the Lord our God this coming year. 

FEAR NOT

A lot of our fears come because we're afraid of something different. We all have our own habits, routines, and preferences. We have our favorite brands of the products we buy. We also have the brands that we will avoid. It could be a favorite chair in the living room, a favorite item on a menu, a preferred brand of car, or a favorite candy bar. We have our preferred routines in life and when people or circumstances disrupt our routine we get upset and that leads to at least a little bit of fear. We go through life with our habits and routines and when something different comes along it causes fear. Maybe a tiny bit, maybe a lot. 

Here is a picture of Santa and a crying baby. That's me as the crying baby. (And yes, I realize I've put on a lot of weight since this picture was taken). I was about 16 months old at the time, and seeing a Santa at a mall apparently disrupted my routine and it caused some problems for me, as well as my parents who were trying to raise this extremely difficult child. 

When we look at the Christmas story in the Bible there are all kinds of disruptive events that broke Mary & Joseph out of their habits, routines, and preferences. The angel came to make announcements to Mary and told her to not be afraid of this major change in her life. She is not just pregnant before wedlock, but also the confusing announcement of a virgin birth. An angel appeared to Joseph in a dream telling him to not be afraid to take Mary as his wife. These were life-changing events that would cause anyone to panic and to be in fear, and the angel's message is to fear not. 

Here is the rest of the story of the crying baby Brian with Santa. The only reason my parents took me to see Santa is that the guy who was making some extra money playing Santa was my grandpa. This 16-month-old Brian knew his grandpa but didn't recognize him at the moment. I didn't realize that I was being held by someone who loves me. I didn't recognize that and it led to fear. Mary and Joseph had life-changing circumstances and they were living in fear, because they didn't realize they were being held by someone who loved them. So, there was a message from an angel that the God who loves them is in this and to not be afraid. 

As we all deal with our doubts, struggles, and fears in life, we need to remember to fear not. In the midst of a fast-paced and changing world it is so easy to give into our anxiety and fear. The reason we get afraid is that we don't recognize that we are being held by someone who loves us. 

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have eternal life." 

Emmanuel

Last month I changed jobs and moved into a new office. I have a lot of books, even after getting rid of books before the move. I have books, pictures, and other items that have been in my office for many years. I've moved several times, but these things come with me. Do I need all of these books in my office? Probably not. Why do I have all of these books that I have read and might not read again? It makes me feel like this is my office. It gives me comfort. Ok, these are my emotional support books. There, I said it, are you happy now? 

Why do we keep things with us? Why do people rent storage units to keep their "stuff"? We do this because it brings us comfort. Decades ago when I was a kid somehow I got through life without having a cell phone with me at all times. Now we need the comfort of knowing we might need to send a text or get a text or get directions or any number of things. Why do we do this? Because we feel alone. We struggle with being alone. In our society, placing someone in a room alone for an extended period is a punishment. Whether it is a child being put in "timeout" or a prisoner in solitary, it is a punishment. 

As human beings, we struggle with being alone. This is why humans want people around us, or the ability to communicate with people, or a pet, or emotional support books. All of that is kind of weird, but that's the human condition. And into this situation God sent Jesus. One of the names of Jesus is Emmanuel. In the Bible names are not just names, but they also are descriptive of the person. Jesus is called Emmanuel which means God with us. To these lonely human beings God sent himself. He did not send us more people or more stuff, he sent himself. He is the Emmanuel, he is God with us. 

Galatians 4:4 "But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law." God came to be the Emmanuel, to be with us as a human race at just the right time. And we can trust him to come to us at the right time. We may need God to give us comfort in the midst of sorrow, peace in the midst of busyness, or even correction when we're going the wrong way. God will be the Emmanuel if you let him. Will you let him be your Emmanuel? 

Dear Pacific Conference,

As I begin this adventure of being the Pacific Conference Superintendent I am keenly aware that I am less than perfect. I can't do everything Randy did, and if I tried I probably wouldn't be that successful because I'm not Randy. 

On superintendent election day, back in August, I recalled when I first became a pastor many years ago. I was in my 20's and was told to pastor a church and I knew I was in over my head. I hung on for dear life to the story from Genesis 41 where Pharaoh brings Joseph to interpret his dream. Joseph had interpreted a dream before and the word got to the king of Egypt. Joseph was summoned to interpret the dream for the Pharaoh, and Joseph's response was, "I can’t do it, but the God I serve can.” 

I have experience and education, but I know that isn't enough and I cannot do this job under my own power, but the God I serve can. I hope you'll give me a little bit of grace and let me learn how to be a superintendent. Sadly, my normal way of learning is typically the hard way. 

What I want the Pacific Conference to know is that I love you. I love this conference. I love our history and our story together. We have yet to have a perfect pastor in this conference, but I love all of them because they have put themselves out there saying "yes" to God and being willing to serve. That's huge. Over the years I've been way too quick to complain about the superintendent and the conference, so I'm pretty sure it will happen to me too. Just know that even to those who complain the most, I love you and I'm for you and not against you. 

I also need you to know that your part in the conference is incredibly important. 1 Corinthians 12:22 says that each part of the body is necessary. You are a necessary part of the Body of Christ. We are a group of churches working together to share the Good News with a lost and hurting world that desperately needs to hear the gospel message of salvation. 

We are all about the authority of Scripture. It is not a nice book of suggestions, it is our rule of life and the primary way God speaks to us. We are all about the centrality of Jesus. Everything we do is because of Jesus who changed our lives and it is still in the business of changing lives. And we are all about the Great Commission. We are not just to "keep the faith," we are to share the faith. Many things about society and culture and ministry are changing, but what does not change is the mission of the conference. George Millen said in 1968, “Its mission is to proclaim the New Testament gospel of free and full salvation,” and this is just as true today as it was then.

Superintendent Brian Hotrum