Better Relationships #7 - Solving the Envy Problem

Solving our Envy Problem

1 Corinthians 13:4 “… Love does not envy…”

First Corinthians chapter thirteen is the section of the Bible that is all about love. It has been stated a few times during this blog series that even though this chapter gets read at weddings quite often, it is not talking about the love of a married couple. This chapter is in the middle of a longer discussion regarding the church and how we treat one another in the church. It is vital that we treat one another with love, and this chapter details what that means.

Today we’re looking again at how “love does not envy.” In some translations, it says that love is not jealous. Either way, envy and jealousy are incompatible with love. You cannot love someone when you are jealous of them. Envy doesn’t rejoice in another’s blessings, envy makes us mean. As a result, it moves people away from us. It says in Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” Nobody wants to be around someone who is mean and jealous. In the end we’re just hurting ourselves because we end up miserable. You can’t be happy and envious at the same time. Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

Since envy and jealousy are so toxic to our relationships in our families and in our church, what is the solution? What is the prescription for this affliction?

The first thing we need to do with envy and jealousy is to:

1. RENOUNCE THEM AS SINFUL.

When Jesus was arrested, with the help of Judas. The religious leaders got the crowd all riled up against Jesus. The Roman governor didn’t know what to do: Matthew 27:18 “For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.” Sin is nothing to be toyed with or tolerated. Right is right and wrong must be done away with. I love the book review that Dorothy Parker wrote for a book years ago. She said, “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.”

2. REMOVE ENVY AND JEALOUSY FROM OUR HEARTS

Don’t just acknowledge that it’s there. It needs to be removed. When we recognize envy and jealousy in our lives, and acknowledge that it is sin.  Then we need to do something else.  We need to remove it from our hearts. How do we do that? By replacing them with contentment. When we are content, it is impossible to envy. Paul described his ability to get over envy and jealousy in Philippians 4:11 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Being content doesn’t come naturally; with God’s help, it is learned.

3. REKINDLE AGAPE LOVE IN OUR HEARTS

The opposite of envy and jealousy is love. Love is glad for the abilities and successes of others, even if they work against our own. Love is happy when others are successful. But how do we rekindle agape love? We do it by spending time in God’s word, we do it by spending time in prayer, in a relationship with God, and becoming more like Him.