Better Relationships #11 - Love is not Rude

“Love is not rude”

In this series of blogs we’ve been looking at 1^st Corinthians 13. This chapter about love is a chapter not just on relationships, but on how we behave and treat one another within the church. The overarching message is that we treat one another in love, and then the chapter explains what that means in practical living. Love is some things (patient, kind, etc.), and love does not do some things (jealous, proud, etc.).

In 1^st Corinthians 13:5, it says that love is not rude. This Greek phrase could be translated as “does not act unbecomingly” or “does not act inappropriately.” In the New American Standard Bible this is translated, “it does not act disgracefully.” Yet here we are living in a culture that is getting more and more rude. There is a coarsening of society.

Social media amplified this problem. People could comment on other people and events all from the comfort and safety of their living room couch. Things they probably would never say to a person if they were standing in front of them, are said online when the inhibitions and consequences are much lower. This social media world we live in has been like this for over 15 years and it has changed our society. I just read a book called Stolen Focus and the author contends that the social media companies don’t really care too much about what you think or read, they just want you to stay on the screen to see more of their ads they are selling. And, because of our fallen nature, what keeps us on the screen is bad news and things that make you upset. What happens is someone does something that is perceived as rude, and then the comments are rude to that person and it escalates.

The Bible is constantly calling us to be counter-cultural. When people treat me rudely, I struggle inside. I think that I was just treated with a whole lot less respect than I think I deserve, therefore I should be justified in treating this person poorly. This is the struggle we all face, yet how did Jesus respond? The prophet Isaiah had a picture of the Messiah in Isaiah 53 and it says, “He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word.” In my Bible reading plan I just read through one of the crucifixion accounts. Jesus did not defend himself. That’s where I struggle because it’s hard for me to simply keep my mouth shut. When Jesus did speak what did he say, “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

We live in a culture that is getting more and more rude and vulgar and impolite. Sadly, that is creeping into the churches simply because this is the world we live in. However, if we want to have healthy churches and healthy relationships, we need to show love. That means we are not rude. When people in the church are rude to one another or rude to people outside the church, this means the church is not a place where the love of Jesus is present and evident. Lord forgive us for those times when our churches, and our lives were less than loving toward others. Help us to follow the more excellent way.