Better Relationships #8 - Love does not boast

“Love does not boast.”

Our now retired Conference Superintendent came up with the slogan for the Pacific Conference that we are building healthy local churches. That is a great slogan since that summarizes the goal of what we’re doing, however getting there is not always easy. The New Testament book of 1^st Corinthians is a letter to a church that has some problems and is working at being a healthy local church. The Apostle Paul gives them instructions on several aspects of church life and in the middle of that we have chapter thirteen where he talks about the love we are to have for one another within the church. If we are to have a healthy local church, and healthy relationships, we need to have love for one another.

After an introduction, Paul says that love is patient and kind. Then he goes into eight things that love is not. The last two posts covered how love does not envy, or in other translations is not jealous. The next quality is that love does not boast. According to the Bible, love and boasting are incompatible.

This world’s attention is caught by those who boast. Whether it is the Instagram model, the professional athlete, or the social media influencer. Because of technology it is easier and more attractive now more than ever for a person to attain celebrity status. The other side of this is what some call a “humble brag.” This is when politicians show off how they work at a homeless shelter serving the Thanksgiving meal, yet it was simply a 20 minute photo op and they care mostly how they look rather than caring about helping others. It is simply human nature and is easy for any of us to fall into this same attitude.

So, what do we boast about? People boast about their kids and grandkids. We boast about the groups we’re part of, whether it is a college football fanbase, a company you work for, or even your church. In the book of 2^nd Corinthians the Apostle Paul said that the Scriptures tell us not to boast. He was referring back to the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah who lived almost 600 years before Paul. Jeremiah had a series of messages to a people who thought they had the favor of God, yet were not living their lives following God.

This is what the Lord says:
“Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom,
    or the powerful boast in their power,
    or the rich boast in their riches.
But those who wish to boast
    should boast in this alone:
that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord
    who demonstrates unfailing love
    and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth,
and that I delight in these things.
    I, the Lord, have spoken!

 Jeremiah 9:23-24

If we are to have healthy churches, families, and relationships, we love others and we are not boasting about anything we have done. We can’t earn our way into heaven. The only thing we have to boast about is that we know the Lord who loves us with an unfailing love. The God who brings righteousness and justice to an unrighteous and unjust world, and I am grateful for his unmerited love. 

Better Relationships #7 - Solving the Envy Problem

Solving our Envy Problem

1 Corinthians 13:4 “… Love does not envy…”

First Corinthians chapter thirteen is the section of the Bible that is all about love. It has been stated a few times during this blog series that even though this chapter gets read at weddings quite often, it is not talking about the love of a married couple. This chapter is in the middle of a longer discussion regarding the church and how we treat one another in the church. It is vital that we treat one another with love, and this chapter details what that means.

Today we’re looking again at how “love does not envy.” In some translations, it says that love is not jealous. Either way, envy and jealousy are incompatible with love. You cannot love someone when you are jealous of them. Envy doesn’t rejoice in another’s blessings, envy makes us mean. As a result, it moves people away from us. It says in Proverbs 27:4 “Anger is cruel and fury overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?” Nobody wants to be around someone who is mean and jealous. In the end we’re just hurting ourselves because we end up miserable. You can’t be happy and envious at the same time. Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

Since envy and jealousy are so toxic to our relationships in our families and in our church, what is the solution? What is the prescription for this affliction?

The first thing we need to do with envy and jealousy is to:

1. RENOUNCE THEM AS SINFUL.

When Jesus was arrested, with the help of Judas. The religious leaders got the crowd all riled up against Jesus. The Roman governor didn’t know what to do: Matthew 27:18 “For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.” Sin is nothing to be toyed with or tolerated. Right is right and wrong must be done away with. I love the book review that Dorothy Parker wrote for a book years ago. She said, “This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force.”

2. REMOVE ENVY AND JEALOUSY FROM OUR HEARTS

Don’t just acknowledge that it’s there. It needs to be removed. When we recognize envy and jealousy in our lives, and acknowledge that it is sin.  Then we need to do something else.  We need to remove it from our hearts. How do we do that? By replacing them with contentment. When we are content, it is impossible to envy. Paul described his ability to get over envy and jealousy in Philippians 4:11 “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” Being content doesn’t come naturally; with God’s help, it is learned.

3. REKINDLE AGAPE LOVE IN OUR HEARTS

The opposite of envy and jealousy is love. Love is glad for the abilities and successes of others, even if they work against our own. Love is happy when others are successful. But how do we rekindle agape love? We do it by spending time in God’s word, we do it by spending time in prayer, in a relationship with God, and becoming more like Him.

 

Better Relationships #6 - Love does not Envy

1 Corinthians 13:4 “… Love does not envy…”

Over the past several weeks we have looked at the foundation for better relationships which is Love. You need love to have healthy family relationships, and you need love to have a healthy church.

In this chapter there are some positive characteristics of love being patient and kind. Now we begin to describe 8 negative characteristics of what love does NOT do. The first is that love does not envy. There are some translations that say that love is not jealous. That’s OK too. The word here in Greek can be translated as either envy or jealous. While it is the same word in Greek, they are two different things in English. Envy wants what someone else has, while jealousy is afraid that what one has will be taken by someone else, like a jealous wife or jealous husband.

You do not need to teach anyone to be envious or jealous. This comes as standard equipment with our sinful human nature. Some of the first words that children learn and know what they mean are “No” and “Mine.” I’ve been saying for years, people grow older, but they don’t grow up.

There is a little poem called the Toddler’s Creed

If I want it, IT'S MINE!
If I give it to you and change my mind later, IT'S MINE!
If I can take it away from you, IT'S MINE!
If it's mine it will never belong to anybody else, No matter what.
If we are building something together, All the pieces are mine!
If it looks just like mine, IT'S MINE!

For some reason we get this notion of “innocent children,” yet we know that most all of us when we were toddlers, we lived by this Toddler’s Creed. But love is not jealous, and love does not envy. Jealousy and envy change people. It doesn’t start off that way. Envy starts off so innocent. It starts off with just a simple wanting of something else. Wanting better clothes, better toys, better phone, better car, better job, better house, better bank account than what you have. This is so innocent and actually helps motivate people to live productive responsible lives.

But then envy takes a turn. Not only does it want more than what you have, it wants what someone else has. If only I had what they’ve got. When you realize that you can’t take a short-cut and get all those things that you think you want, you get cranky. You get mad at those who stand in your way of getting those things you think you need and deserve. James 3:15 it says: “For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.” This attitude is not just toxic to a relationship or a church, the Bible says that it is actually demonic. Love does not envy.