Better Relationships #4 - Love is Patient

In the 1800’s there lived a man named Robert Ingersoll. He grew up the son of a pastor, but walked away from the faith. Ingersoll became a lawyer and was involved in politics. However, he is most known for his books and series of lectures on the non-existence of God. Several times during his lectures he would say, “I’ll give God five minutes to strike me dead for the things I’ve said.” Then, he would use the fact that he was not struck dead as proof God did not exist. There was a pastor named Theodore Parker at that time. He was told of what Mr. Ingersoll was doing. His response was, “Did the gentleman think he could exhaust the patience of the eternal God in five minutes?”

Lately in this blog we’ve been looking at 1 Corinthians 13. This is a chapter on love, but it is in the context of how we behave with each other in the church. In verses 4-8 of this chapter there are 15 characteristics of what it means to love. Today we look at how “love is patient.”

How patient are you? I have a more task oriented personality and patience does not come easily to me. I’m constantly sitting in traffic or picking the wrong checkout lane in the grocery store and I'm wondering if the Lord is working on putting me in opportunities to learn patience.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4 when it says, “love is patient,” the Greek word is (makrothumeo). It is sometimes translated “long-suffering.” The literal meaning is “taking a long time to boil.” We may know people who have a “short fuse,” which means they get angry easily or quickly. Patience means we have a “long fuse.” It is victory over anger. This word always means to have patience with people, not things or situations. There is a Greek word that means patience toward things or circumstances, and it is translated as “perseveres” in v.7. Patience requires divine help to develop because our natural tendency is to be impatient with people.

So, if part of showing love in our relationships is patience, then how do we be patient with other people? That is a complicated topic, but the primary way is to simply remember how patient God has been with us. We have to make the conscious effort to remember God’s patience. Paul talked about this with Timothy saying, 1 Timothy 1:15-16 “…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners…”

Patience suffers long. All of these characteristics we see here in 1 Corinthians 13 are attributes of Jesus. God never commands us to do anything that isn’t seen in the life of Jesus. When you are a Christian, you have Jesus in your heart and God’s spirit working in your life, so you can do this. I can’t have love without patience, and in order to be patient, I need to remember how patient God has been with us. God can change us from the inside out. If you need love in your relationships, if you need more patience in your life, you need more of Jesus in your life.

Better Relationships #3

In this new role of superintendent I’m on the road a lot more than I was as a local church pastor. As a result, I’ve changed the oil for my car quite a bit more often lately. You need to change the oil because when your engine is really working hard, there is friction and the oil eases that friction. If there is no oil, the friction creates incredible heat, and your engine will be damaged and eventually no longer work. In the church, love is the oil that keeps things lubricated and running even when there is friction; and there will be friction from time to time. 

We’re looking at what the Bible says about how we are to love each other in the church from the key passage on how we treat one another in the church.

1 Corinthians 13:2-3 “If I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

#1 When I love others, what I believe will have meaning.

If we do not love, our faith means nothing to God or anyone. Being a Christian is much more than just believing the right theology. I am an advocate for correct doctrine, however, it is not what you believe about the Jesus, but what difference has Jesus made in your life? What difference has Jesus made in how you behave at home or in school or in the church? The Bible says in Hebrews 11 that without faith it is impossible to please God, but that needs to be a faith that also has love. Paul wrote in Galatians 5:6 “What is important is faith expressing itself in love.”

The prophet Jonah had great faith. It was because of his faith in the power of God’s Word that he resisted going to Nineveh to preach.  He had faith to know that if he preached, and if they repented, that God would forgive them. Jonah hated the people of Nineveh. They were the enemy of Israel.  Because of his lack of love, he did not want the sinful Ninevites to be saved from a horrible judgment. After the whale experience, Jonah went to Nineveh and preached, bringing great revival there. BUT, Jonah’s faith meant nothing because the only faith that pleases God is one that expresses itself through love.

#2 When I love others, what I do will have value.

Paul is talking about agape love, self-sacrificing love. But, self-sacrifice doesn’t necessarily come from love. In 1 Corinthians 13:3 the apostle Paul talks about sacrificing and providing for others. Way too often in this world parents have given their children gifts rather than spending time with their children. They sacrifice their time and provide things, when the child really needs their parent.

God is love, and as his followers and as his children, we are called to love one another. This gets difficult because of the friction we have when we are close with people, this is why we need to check the oil and make sure that we really are loving one another. Jesus said it like this, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” (John 13:34). If we want to have better relationships we need to have love for others which is more important than our theological framework and it is more important than any gift or good deed. Will we really love one another?

Better Relationships #2

We are made for relationships, yet those relationships are not easy. What does the Bible say about having better relationships? 1 Corinthians 13 is not just a passage that you read at a wedding, the context of this passage is how we treat one another within the church. The church is to be different than the rest of the world by the way we love one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

#1 If I have love in my heart, what I say will be more than noise.

“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” In some translations, there is the phrase “the tongues of men and of angels.” This is a poetic way of simply saying language, while at the same time also being articulate. I’ve been a pastor for a long time, but I am nowhere close to the best preachers out there. I wish I was a lot better of a preacher. There are some pastors that preach and I am amazed at how they can turn a phrase and put together thoughts and I wish I could do that. If I was a fantastic public speaker, speaking with the tongues of men and angels, the greatest possible eloquence, oratory, and articulation of speech in languages of heaven and earth, yet no language in heaven or earth has real meaning without love.

Have you ever noticed that you can get an album with just piano music, or just guitar, or one of the several different kinds of horns? However, I have yet to find an album of just cymbals. The cymbals blend into the background, but the repeated clashing all by itself just makes meaningless irritating sounds. The Bible tells us that if I do not have love in my heart, my words will just be about as welcome as clanging cymbals.

#2 If I have love, what I know will be of worth.

“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge…, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.” My great-grandpa Cleveland was an amazing guy. He was a school teacher, but also spent some time as a pastor in the Pacific Conference in the 1940’s & 1950’s. I remember one time when I was probably around junior high age and great-grandpa Cleveland said to me, “hey Brian, what do you know?” And, as a typical adolescent I said, “not much” or something along those lines. Then grandpa told me, “Don’t ever say that. You’re a smart kid. When someone asks you ‘What do you know?’ you tell them, ‘I know everything, what do you want me to tell you?’”

I obviously do not know everything. However, you can be the person who knows almost everything. You could be Albert Einstein, Elon Musk, Dr. Phil, and King Solomon all rolled into one, but without love in your relationships, all you know is worthless. It says in 1 Corinthians 8:1b “while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church.” If we want to have a strong conference of churches, if you want a strong local church, if you want a strong marriage, or a strong family, we need to have love for one another.

BETTER RELATIONSHIPS

A few years ago during the worst part of the pandemic, we were staying home and isolating like we were supposed to, and that took a huge toll on so many people. In prison, solitary confinement is a punishment because it is painful. Human beings are not meant to be alone. God said this in the second chapter of the Bible.

We were made for relationships. Primarily we were made to be in relationship with God, and we were designed to be in relationship with other people. The problem is that we also struggle with relationships. The world offers lots of ways to get better relationships, and many of those ways work to some degree. However, as a Christian, and as a pastor, I want to know what the Bible says about relationships.

One of the greatest passages on relationships is 1^st Corinthians 13. This passage is read at many weddings. Way too many people find some sort of framed artwork with this chapter and give it to couples as a wedding gift. This is not a bad thing, however, this chapter in the Bible was not written to be about the love of a husband and a wife. In the context of the book of 1 Corinthians this is about how we treat each other within the church. Chapter 12 talks about the different gifts of each person in the church and how they work together. Chapter 12 ends with the various ministries of apostles, prophets, and teachers. Then chapter 13 tells us we need to love one another as we work together as a church.

1 Corinthians 13:1-2 “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

The Bible tells us that our words, our knowledge, our understanding, and even our faith do not mean anything if we do not love one another. In my relatively new role as a superintendent, I am learning on-the-job. I do not claim to know everything about this role, but what I do know is that we are a conference of churches, and we are in a connectional system of pastors and churches working together. This means that we do ministry in relationship with each other. For the next several weeks this blog will focus on God's way to have better relationships. Without relationships we are not able to effectively do God’s will. This is true in a conference of churches, in a local church, and in a family. So, in our speech, will we speak in love to one another?

REVIVAL

It is amazing about the revival that is taking place right now. At Asbury University they had a routine Wednesday morning chapel service that has not ended. People who are there talk about the powerful presence of the Lord and how people keep coming, it is difficult to leave. Friends of mine was there Monday and they said the auditorium is full and so there is overflow in other areas around campus. It isn't just students anymore, there are people from all over wanting more of God and looking for hope. 

Things like this have happened before at this University, but because of social media, this has taken on a life of its own. On Saturday I watched a livestream for over two hours just enjoying by distance the spirit and presence of the Lord. They just keep going with worship, with some preaching, some testimonies, some reading of Scripture. 

This school in Wilmore, Kentucky was started by John Wesley Hughes and was originally named Kentucky Holiness College and later renamed Asbury College in honor of the great Methodist Bishop Asbury. In Hughes Auditorium where this revival is taking place, it says on the wall right up front "Holiness Unto the Lord." 

Just like Asbury University, here in the Pacific Conference we are a holiness people. What does that mean? It means that we believe the Scriptures where God commands us to be holy as He is holy. It is not a legalistic perfection, but it is cleansing and setting apart by God. We are not trying to manage a minimum amount of sin in our lives, we are seeking after God so that we can have victory over sin. 

I'd like to get on an airplane and head to Kentucky, but more importantly, I desire revival here in the Pacific Northwest. This revival started when students started confessing and repenting. Revival always starts with the church, let it start with us. In Acts chapter 3 Peter & John were at the Temple. There was a miracle and then a crowd shows up and Peter starts preaching. Peter tells us how to find revival in Acts 3:19-20 "Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah."

Lord may that be so here in the Pacific Northwest. May we truly repent of our sins; not trying to keep them to a minimum, but truly repent. Then as we turn to God our sins will be wiped away and the times of refreshment and revival so that we can proclaim the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ here in the Pacific Northwest. 

JOY AHEAD

This may sound like something you get in a fortune cookie, but there is joy ahead for you. Do you really believe that? It's so easy for us to look at the world, look at our schedule, look at our circumstances, and forget that there is joy ahead. It says in:

1 Peter 1:6-7 “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine..."

The most famous of all the old hymns, Amazing Grace, has the verse that starts, “Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come.” Some of our problems are from the enemy, some are just how life goes this side of heaven, and some are there just to test our faith. It isn't really faith unless it's put to the test. 

There is joy ahead, even when this life isn't easy. We get into trouble when we think that being a Christian means that nothing bad will ever happen to us. That’s not true. We know it’s not true. And, we’re being dishonest when we tell people they should be a Christian so that they won’t have any problems anymore. Jesus never said anything like that. He told us there would be problems, but that we were to be happy.

Matthew 5:11-12 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad!"

Why are we happy? Because we have hope of heaven. I love my acronyms, and I found one a few years ago for hope. HOPE stands for Hold On, Pain Ends. In these Roaring 20's we have already had all kinds of trials, but then again, life has all kinds of trials. I am glad, even when there are trials because there is wonderful joy ahead. 

INHERITANCE

Have you ever gotten an inheritance? Last fall at Annual Conference I talked about how when my grandpa Hotrum passed away I got an inheritance and became a multi-hundredaire. How much more amazing is the inheritance we receive from the Lord? The Bible says that it is a "priceless inheritance." 

Peter, the friend of Jesus, is seen all through the gospels and in the book of Acts. Yet, his two epistles are tucked away toward the end of the New Testament. Peter was as close to Jesus when he was here on earth as you can get. Peter wrote:

1 Peter 1:3-4 "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance..."

When Peter says that God raised Jesus from the dead we know it's true. Peter was an eyewitness to the empty tomb and the risen Lord. Jesus is more than a nice idea and a good teacher, but he is the risen Lord. As a result we have a great expectation. This is called hope. We have hope in this life and hope for the life to come. Peter also says we have a priceless inheritance. Jesus fed thousands of people, he performed miracles, but he didn't leave Peter and the early church with a multimillion-shekel endowment. Jesus told Peter that he would be with them, and that was good enough. Peter was full of hope, focusing on the priceless inheritance we receive from Jesus. We get forgiveness of sin, peace in the midst of trouble, guidance from the Holy Spirit. All this and Heaven too. 

On my desk I have a pocket watch that doesn't work. My uncle Ken gave it to me a couple years ago. He said his grandpa (my great-grandpa) had given it to him over 40 years ago and Ken said that maybe I should hang on to it for a while. My great-grandpa Cleveland did not leave an inheritance of money to the family, but he did leave an inheritance of moral and godly character. He is the one who helped my dad through college and seminary. He is the one who we knew was praying for us. Are we passing on to the next generations part of the inheritance that we have received from the Lord?